I hope mine doesn't look like that
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
