I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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