ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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