The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
