How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
