i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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