What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
