I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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