the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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