The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
