what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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