I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
