idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
