two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
