Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We don't watch enough power rangers
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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