If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
