I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
