But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You dont lie about slip and slides
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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