Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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