Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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