He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
