totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
