hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
third nipple confirmed
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
My vagina just clenched in fear
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
