I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
