arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
