I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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