areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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