I'm drive I can fine osifer
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
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We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
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So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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