I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
They are going to name an STD after you.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
