At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
