just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
