He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
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i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
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The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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