GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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