Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
