So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
