Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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