dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
