my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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