she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
