I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
