Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
