I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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