some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize