so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
