Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
