we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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