Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
apparently the secret to your success is patron
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
