yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Randomize
