so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
