My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
