She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize