Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
