I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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