you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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