I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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