Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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