WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
