Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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