You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
