i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
