you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
