yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Randomize
