she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
How naked do you want me to be?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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