Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
