so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
