Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
