well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
